I include you my beautiful son

I try so hard to make sure you are included in every choice I make. In everything that gets done here. If we go out to eat I make sure that even if everyone loves the place we are going to, that there is something in there that you like, that if I buy everyone something, you get something you like too. That if we rent a movie, I look for one that you may like too. It gets so hard sometimes and sometimes it may seem as if I forgot you… I NEVER FORGET YOU!! I want you to know that every time I have any of your 2 siblings even so much as pick a TV show to watch that it’s something that you can at least tolerate. If only you spoke… if only you could tell me what it is that you want to watch… what it is you crave to eat today… what shoes you like at the shoe store, what pants and what shirt you feel like wearing today. What your favorite shirt is and if it’s in the laundry and that you want to wear it… I would give anything to hear you ask me for that shirt. I would like to hear you tell me that you want ketchup on yours fries. I include you in everything (even offering you ketchup) because how else am I to know what you like and what you don’t. Basically I live life to listen to your unspoken words. It’s so hard though. I know that just because you don’t speak… it’s not that you have nothing to say. I refuse to believe that you don’t make choices even though you don’t voice them.

I try to make sure that everyone else here gets their needs met and enjoys life as they should. Sometimes it hurts to think that I can’t do something with them because you can’t tolerate it and so I push you. I push you but it’s not to torture you. I do so because how am I to know if I don’t try to make you try? I am always trying to balance things out so that everyone travels this journey having fun, loving life and having compassion. Have patience with me, love me for me, love me for being pushy because I love you with all of my life because you are you. Would I change anything about you? No! Would I want something more for you? YES! SPEAK my beautiful son, SPEAK! I imagine your voice, I have had dreams about your voice, I want to hear what I know you want to say!

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7 thoughts on “I include you my beautiful son

  1. Disfruto cada escritura que haces ,por que me haces crecer como madre !!!Nunca fuimos las mejores amigas ,y creo que te lo he dicho ,eres la mejor amiga que cualquiera podria tener tu sabiduria ,tu pasion por tus hijos me hacer ser mejor madre cada dia,que leo algo tuyo digo WOW !!! The Best mom ever!!!!!!God Bless your beautiful family

    • Sabes Wally? Me siento tan agradecida que ahora como adultas nos conocemos y que aunque a distancia, siento que eres mi amiga de Corazon. Te quiero mucho, te admiro y te respeto. Dios sabe lo que hace. Cuando chicas no hubiesemos sabido apreciarnos de la manera que te aprecio hoy en dia. Tu manera de ser es tan agradable y me siento bendecida al poder pensar en ti como si hubiesemos sido amigas por a~os. Mis hijos son mi fuerza, mi inspiracion, mi passion ademas de mi creador quien me da vida para poder compartir con ellos. Nunca es facil, no hay dia que sea facil pero al fin de dia… doy gracias porque pude responder a un dia mas. Dios te bendiga a ti y a los tuyos siempre y gracias por tu apoyo. Significa mucho para mi.

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