The half full or half empty glass — however I am looking at it.

I’ve been away from here for a while. I stopped in recently to post a song that got to my soul when I heard it and I had to share it. Every so often I look through blogs, read and maybe I’ll even post a message. I don’t know exactly what has kept me away from blogging but I have a few ideas. It is easier to sit and post when the weather outside makes me want to stay indoors and be cozy (fall and winter). So much stuff goes through my mind and I think of coming in to share but when I’ve sat to do so I just feel like my mind is so cluttered with stuff that I can’t focus on just posting one blog. If you have ever read any of my blogs then you know either because I have told you or because my posts reflect it, that I see the glass as half full. Well I have my days when there is barely anything in the glass and I just can’t strip myself from whatever prevents me from sharing with you. I have nothing to hide. I think it’s also just easier to tell you about how beautiful my children are.

A few minutes ago I was thinking about all this and it came to me that if I really want people to know what living with Autism is like then I need to really put it out there. Seeing the glass as half full doesn’t just come to me. I have to work on that. I have to see everything as having a purpose, as happening for a reason, as a life lesson and let me tell you sometimes… it is exhausting.

I focus on the positive, on the wonderful accomplishments and the joy I get whenever my children do something that gives me that happiness that we all live for. Now, I’m not saying I am going to become a negative person but if I am going to do this… I am going to do it right.

My children are ages 13-my Princess, 11-my Angel and 9-my Little Peanut. My Angel is the one that has pretty hard core Autism. He is non-verbal. He has self injurious behaviors, still puts everything in his mouth and during the day can’t seem to sit still for a second. I have to watch him like a hawk because a second away from me is a second that can either mean a lot of cleaning to do or the second that can change our lives forever because he is still very much like a young toddler. He fears nothing and he is a bolter and a little escape artist. He will disappear from view right under your nose. I live on high alert every single day. That part is Autism. He is also one of the most beautiful boys on this planet–remember I have 2 boys ;). He makes me laugh and he makes me feel like I have a purpose in life. That part is my little boy.

From now on good or bad, I will post it. Not to bring anyone down but if any of you have an Angel like mine then you will know that you are not alone in this world because someone else understands. Even if I am a stranger to you. And if you are just reading to get an understanding about Autism and what it is like then I am going to give you insight that hopefully will help you understand.

Thank you all for your support, for stopping by and reading, for liking and commenting.